Post by catgirl63 on Nov 27, 2010 1:26:30 GMT -4
Chapter 100
Nick and Jarrod watched the broad back of Heath as he walked from the kitchen before glancing towards each other when the man could no longer be seen. Nick shook his head in disbelief, certain he had sensed the younger man pulling back within himself before his abrupt departure.
“Pappy, I don’t think that boy’s ever gonna come around,” muttered Nick, his hazel eyes held a bleakness in their depths as they looked towards his big brother.
Reaching over and grasping Nick by the back of his neck, Jarrod gave his brother a small shake, “Don’t give up on him, Nick….for a moment there, I think Heath felt how right it feels between us. I saw a glimpse of it in his eyes.”
“Then why the hell isn’t he still here with us?” retorted Nick gruffly.
“I think what he felt was just so overpowering, it took him by surprise,” surmised Jarrod, feeling he was on the right track in his thinking. “We gotta remember Nick, he’s had a lifetime of being angry at father, been on his own and fighting on his own for many years now. It’s just gonna take time….just some more time. After what he did for Audra, calling her sister and showing he was willing to fight for her….I’m feeling more hopeful than I have since we’ve been here in Strawberry.”
Nick nodded before standing and walking with his brother through the lobby and up the stairs. Stopping before the door to Jarrod’s room, Nick stated in a low voice, “I sure hope you’re right, big brother…I sure hope you’re right. On the other hand, if he has enough time it could do more harm than good.”
“We can only give it our all, Nick,” said Jarrod quietly. “Hopefully that will be enough.”
“I s’pose you’re right,” agreed the rancher with a small nod of his head before clapping his brother on the back. “Night, Pappy.”
“Night, Nick.” Responded Jarrod as his brother entered the next room before entering his own. Taking his gun from his waistband, he slid the pistol back into its well-maintained holder, his fingers tapping on the leather as he ran the scene in the kitchen through his mind. Yes, he was certain he had been on the right track in his assumptions towards the blond who was still the skittish wild wolf skirting the edge of their family circle.
Rising early, Matt Simmons entered the lobby and stopped at the sight of his nephew with a broom in hand on the boardwalk. The blond was sweeping up the damage scattered from the previous night’s fiasco. Crossing the room and leaning with his right arm against the frame of the large window, he smiled a greeting to the man who stopped the motion of the broom.
“Morning Heath…did you get any sleep at all last night?” questioned Matt studying a shadow of tiredness among the bruises leftover from fight. “Ya’ look tired.”
“Nope, not much.” Heath admitted with a small smile for the man who knew him better than any other as he gestured towards his head. “Too many thoughts rolling around in here.”
“Hmmm,” Matt noted with knowing eyes before climbing through the paneless window to take the broom from his nephew’s hand. “Them thoughts have anything to do with the Barkleys?”
Relieved of his morning activity, Heath moved to the window to manhandle a piece of wood hanging on by a tenuous shred and sighed, “Some, Uncle Matt, some.”
“And?”
Tossing the slender of piece of wood he removed from the frame of the large window into the pile his uncle swept together, he shook his head and looked out into the first light of the day. He was torn inside, disheveled with scenarios of his future and the future of his daughter. When he had actively taken a step across the line of right and wrong, regardless of whether he thought he was right in his mind at the time, the members of the prominent family should have cast him aside. Yes, they had fought against him and he against them and yet, when it came right down to it after all the things that had happened…they were now fighting to have him and his daughter in their circle of family.
“I don’t know what to do….” Heath admitted, confusion and uncertainty thickening the words with powerful emotions before turning his head to catch his uncle’s watchful gaze. “Sometimes I feel like they’re complete strangers and then other times like last night in the kitchen with Nick and Jarrod…hell, it just feels so damn right….like it could have been if we’d grown up together.”
The livery owner was shaken by the keen turmoil in his nephew’s eyes. Squeezing Heath’s shoulder, he steered the younger man off the boardwalk, keeping his hand in place as he lead them to the livery. Heath allowed his uncle to take the lead, his mind needing to find some way to stop bombarding itself with thoughts, dreams and what-ifs.
Stopping before the corral holding the younger man’s beloved modoc, Matt watched as Gal came over and was rewarded by strong fingers scratching behind her ears. Being in the proximity of horses had always seemed to calm the inner beasts residing in his nephew.
“They don’t even blame me for what happened with Gil and Audra,” informed Heath running his fingers down the equines forehead, before shaking his head in disbelief. “If she hadn’t dropped that glass and if the sound of it hadn’t woken me up…..”
Matt watched as his nephew’s body shivered with the scenario that could have been. “Don’t Heath….its not your fault Anders was stupid. You’re not to blame for the actions of others.”
“Still I should have been able to see that in him…we’d spent a lot of time together, Uncle Matt.” Surmised the blond leaning his arm over the top rail of the corral and turning to face the older man. “I thought I knew him better than that.”
“I’m not happy about what happened with Miss Barkley but on the other hand I’m glad you won’t be seeing Anders again, Heath.” Matt stated. “You don’t need friends like him and people like him won’t be the kind to help you put some distance from your past.”
“Yeah, reckon you’re right about that, Uncle.” Sighed the blond before turning so his back was leaning against the corral rails, his eyes casting in the direction of the hotel, his mind tumbling between his daughter and the others in the hotel.
Turning to mirror his nephew’s pose, the livery owner pursed his lips in thought before he stabbed at the dirt with the toe of his boot. “You know I still feel guilty most days about how I treated your mama after she told me she was with child. I wasted a lot of years being angry and feeling she shamed our family. I wasted a lot of time that could have been spent being a brother to her…a lot of time.”
“No, you shouldn’t think that, Uncle Matt,” countered Heath with a shake of his head. “I know mama wouldn’t want you to feel that way….I know it.”
“Maybe so but regret is a powerful thing to have to live with Heath.” Advised the older man, his blue eyes meeting his nephews. “I know its a feeling you know cause you regret the choices you made and the time spent in prison. Do you think you really need one more thing dodging your heels and making you wonder what if?”
Turning to give his uncle his full attention, Heath scowled before questioning, “Exactly what are you getting at, Uncle Matt?”
“I’m saying I think we could all use a new start away from here…Strawberry’s never gonna come back to life Heath and there’s no future here for you or Joy.” Informed Matt gruffly before shaking his head in disbelief at what he was about to say. “You know I was scared when Mrs. Barkley showed up…imagined she would sweet talk you like her husband had with Leah and take you away from me…from us. I was wrong, Heath. I shouldn’t have thought of them like I did cause anyone can see they’re good people.”
Matt watched the furrow between his nephew’s eyebrows deepen with thought before he squeezed his nephew’s shoulder, “I’m gonna get a bucket and finish cleaning up. Think on it, Heath….just think on it.”
Blue eyes watched his uncle turn and walk the length of the corral to the livery door. Crossing his arms, he reached up and squeezed his temples with his right hand before swiping it across his face. Taking in a shaky breath, Heath turned and leaned his arms over the top of the rails, resting his forehead on his forearms. He felt a whoosh of air and raised his head, smiling at the modoc who reached out and nuzzled his arm.
“Can’t say I’ve ever heard him string so many words together before, Gal,” sighed Heath, his voice twitching the ears of the equine forward as if she were hanging on his every word. “Boy howdy, what do you think, Gal?”
Stomping her hoof and snorting, the small framed modoc responded as if she understood his every word. Chuckling, Heath scratched his faithful companion behind her ear before patting the muscular neck. The laughter in the blue eyes faded into somberness as he gave a final scratch to the sensitive spot behind her ear and sighed, “Yeah, I know you’ll go wherever I go.”
Nick and Jarrod watched the broad back of Heath as he walked from the kitchen before glancing towards each other when the man could no longer be seen. Nick shook his head in disbelief, certain he had sensed the younger man pulling back within himself before his abrupt departure.
“Pappy, I don’t think that boy’s ever gonna come around,” muttered Nick, his hazel eyes held a bleakness in their depths as they looked towards his big brother.
Reaching over and grasping Nick by the back of his neck, Jarrod gave his brother a small shake, “Don’t give up on him, Nick….for a moment there, I think Heath felt how right it feels between us. I saw a glimpse of it in his eyes.”
“Then why the hell isn’t he still here with us?” retorted Nick gruffly.
“I think what he felt was just so overpowering, it took him by surprise,” surmised Jarrod, feeling he was on the right track in his thinking. “We gotta remember Nick, he’s had a lifetime of being angry at father, been on his own and fighting on his own for many years now. It’s just gonna take time….just some more time. After what he did for Audra, calling her sister and showing he was willing to fight for her….I’m feeling more hopeful than I have since we’ve been here in Strawberry.”
Nick nodded before standing and walking with his brother through the lobby and up the stairs. Stopping before the door to Jarrod’s room, Nick stated in a low voice, “I sure hope you’re right, big brother…I sure hope you’re right. On the other hand, if he has enough time it could do more harm than good.”
“We can only give it our all, Nick,” said Jarrod quietly. “Hopefully that will be enough.”
“I s’pose you’re right,” agreed the rancher with a small nod of his head before clapping his brother on the back. “Night, Pappy.”
“Night, Nick.” Responded Jarrod as his brother entered the next room before entering his own. Taking his gun from his waistband, he slid the pistol back into its well-maintained holder, his fingers tapping on the leather as he ran the scene in the kitchen through his mind. Yes, he was certain he had been on the right track in his assumptions towards the blond who was still the skittish wild wolf skirting the edge of their family circle.
Rising early, Matt Simmons entered the lobby and stopped at the sight of his nephew with a broom in hand on the boardwalk. The blond was sweeping up the damage scattered from the previous night’s fiasco. Crossing the room and leaning with his right arm against the frame of the large window, he smiled a greeting to the man who stopped the motion of the broom.
“Morning Heath…did you get any sleep at all last night?” questioned Matt studying a shadow of tiredness among the bruises leftover from fight. “Ya’ look tired.”
“Nope, not much.” Heath admitted with a small smile for the man who knew him better than any other as he gestured towards his head. “Too many thoughts rolling around in here.”
“Hmmm,” Matt noted with knowing eyes before climbing through the paneless window to take the broom from his nephew’s hand. “Them thoughts have anything to do with the Barkleys?”
Relieved of his morning activity, Heath moved to the window to manhandle a piece of wood hanging on by a tenuous shred and sighed, “Some, Uncle Matt, some.”
“And?”
Tossing the slender of piece of wood he removed from the frame of the large window into the pile his uncle swept together, he shook his head and looked out into the first light of the day. He was torn inside, disheveled with scenarios of his future and the future of his daughter. When he had actively taken a step across the line of right and wrong, regardless of whether he thought he was right in his mind at the time, the members of the prominent family should have cast him aside. Yes, they had fought against him and he against them and yet, when it came right down to it after all the things that had happened…they were now fighting to have him and his daughter in their circle of family.
“I don’t know what to do….” Heath admitted, confusion and uncertainty thickening the words with powerful emotions before turning his head to catch his uncle’s watchful gaze. “Sometimes I feel like they’re complete strangers and then other times like last night in the kitchen with Nick and Jarrod…hell, it just feels so damn right….like it could have been if we’d grown up together.”
The livery owner was shaken by the keen turmoil in his nephew’s eyes. Squeezing Heath’s shoulder, he steered the younger man off the boardwalk, keeping his hand in place as he lead them to the livery. Heath allowed his uncle to take the lead, his mind needing to find some way to stop bombarding itself with thoughts, dreams and what-ifs.
Stopping before the corral holding the younger man’s beloved modoc, Matt watched as Gal came over and was rewarded by strong fingers scratching behind her ears. Being in the proximity of horses had always seemed to calm the inner beasts residing in his nephew.
“They don’t even blame me for what happened with Gil and Audra,” informed Heath running his fingers down the equines forehead, before shaking his head in disbelief. “If she hadn’t dropped that glass and if the sound of it hadn’t woken me up…..”
Matt watched as his nephew’s body shivered with the scenario that could have been. “Don’t Heath….its not your fault Anders was stupid. You’re not to blame for the actions of others.”
“Still I should have been able to see that in him…we’d spent a lot of time together, Uncle Matt.” Surmised the blond leaning his arm over the top rail of the corral and turning to face the older man. “I thought I knew him better than that.”
“I’m not happy about what happened with Miss Barkley but on the other hand I’m glad you won’t be seeing Anders again, Heath.” Matt stated. “You don’t need friends like him and people like him won’t be the kind to help you put some distance from your past.”
“Yeah, reckon you’re right about that, Uncle.” Sighed the blond before turning so his back was leaning against the corral rails, his eyes casting in the direction of the hotel, his mind tumbling between his daughter and the others in the hotel.
Turning to mirror his nephew’s pose, the livery owner pursed his lips in thought before he stabbed at the dirt with the toe of his boot. “You know I still feel guilty most days about how I treated your mama after she told me she was with child. I wasted a lot of years being angry and feeling she shamed our family. I wasted a lot of time that could have been spent being a brother to her…a lot of time.”
“No, you shouldn’t think that, Uncle Matt,” countered Heath with a shake of his head. “I know mama wouldn’t want you to feel that way….I know it.”
“Maybe so but regret is a powerful thing to have to live with Heath.” Advised the older man, his blue eyes meeting his nephews. “I know its a feeling you know cause you regret the choices you made and the time spent in prison. Do you think you really need one more thing dodging your heels and making you wonder what if?”
Turning to give his uncle his full attention, Heath scowled before questioning, “Exactly what are you getting at, Uncle Matt?”
“I’m saying I think we could all use a new start away from here…Strawberry’s never gonna come back to life Heath and there’s no future here for you or Joy.” Informed Matt gruffly before shaking his head in disbelief at what he was about to say. “You know I was scared when Mrs. Barkley showed up…imagined she would sweet talk you like her husband had with Leah and take you away from me…from us. I was wrong, Heath. I shouldn’t have thought of them like I did cause anyone can see they’re good people.”
Matt watched the furrow between his nephew’s eyebrows deepen with thought before he squeezed his nephew’s shoulder, “I’m gonna get a bucket and finish cleaning up. Think on it, Heath….just think on it.”
Blue eyes watched his uncle turn and walk the length of the corral to the livery door. Crossing his arms, he reached up and squeezed his temples with his right hand before swiping it across his face. Taking in a shaky breath, Heath turned and leaned his arms over the top of the rails, resting his forehead on his forearms. He felt a whoosh of air and raised his head, smiling at the modoc who reached out and nuzzled his arm.
“Can’t say I’ve ever heard him string so many words together before, Gal,” sighed Heath, his voice twitching the ears of the equine forward as if she were hanging on his every word. “Boy howdy, what do you think, Gal?”
Stomping her hoof and snorting, the small framed modoc responded as if she understood his every word. Chuckling, Heath scratched his faithful companion behind her ear before patting the muscular neck. The laughter in the blue eyes faded into somberness as he gave a final scratch to the sensitive spot behind her ear and sighed, “Yeah, I know you’ll go wherever I go.”
