Post by catgirl on Apr 3, 2010 14:56:05 GMT -4
I apologize for the delay in posting -- my computer had died and it took me a while to get a new one! I am transcribing my hand written chapters to Word and will post as soon as I can decipher all of them! LOL My handwriting is really bad! I cannot 'log-in' as I am having some issues with this site, however, hope that clears up soon. Thank you for your continued support and I hope you enjoy the rest of this story. Take care!!!
"I love you Riley."
Tears filled her eyes as she released her hold on his hand, running her hand up his arm until she grasped the back of his neck. Her fingers ran through his hair before she moved his face closer, stopping before their lips met.
"Always…loved….you…Heath." gasped Riley pulling his mouth to hers and whispering before deepening the kiss, "for…ever."
Lost in the kiss and the words, he wrapped his arms around her fragile form and lifted her upward. Riley moved her head to rest it against his broad shoulder as the man hardened by the experiences from the world outside the room murmured into her ear. Closing her eyes, she smiled at his love filled words.
Heath blinked at the tears in his eyes, uncaring as they escaped and trickled onto his cheeks. Squeezing his eyes tightly closed, he held her head to his shoulder, rocking slightly as his frame shuddered with sobs as he felt her body relax into eternal sleep.
Chapter 84
Droplets of grieve trickled from the corners of his eyes as Heath sat motionless holding Riley to his chest. Laying his cheek on the side of her head, he took in a shuddering breath and slowly exhaled, hissing his breath in a staggered pattern as he fought for a semblance of control.
A soft knocking at the door broke the stillness of the room and he tenderly lowered her onto the pillows. Staring at the pale face relaxed in a pain-free eternal sleep for a moment, he rubbed his thumb gently over her cooling cheek. The repetition of the knock found him wiping the tears from his face before raising himself off the bed, verbally granting entry as he pulled the blanket upwards to cover the mother of his child.
“Heath, sorry we’re late. The wagon wheel…” stated Matt in a low voice as he peered around the door he cracked open. The words from his mouth ceasing as he caught sight of the blanket covered form after his nephew turned towards him.
“She’s gone,” informed Heath needlessly with a shake of his head as if it would wake him from a bad dream.
“I’m sorry, boy,” offered Matt closing the distance between them in three steps. Gathering his only living relative to him in a hug, the slender framed man felt his nephew’s larger body relax for only a moment before a hand patted his back and he pulled apart. Eyes aged with the years watched as his nephew moved to the window and held onto the frame with his right hand, peering outwards at a world filled with afternoon sunshine. The blond head dipped downward for a moment as if in silent prayer.
The silence of the room was broken by the softly spoken words, “Do you think Joy will understand, Uncle Matt? Do you think she’ll know her mama’s gone?”
Startled from his own thoughts by his nephew’s sudden questions, Matt glanced to the bed before continuing to Heath’s side. Studying the strong profile beside him, the hotel proprietor reached over and squeezed the nearest shoulder as he sighed, “She probably won’t understand…no….it’ll be more like she’ll sense something’s missing, Heath.”
“I gotta tell ya’ Uncle Matt I’m scared all of a sudden,” admitted the blond as he moved his hand from the window to rub the back of his neck.
“Scared? Why?”
Turning enough to look back at the bed, he cast a glance to the older man by his side. Taking a lungful of air, Heath closed his eyes for a moment before baring the fear springing up inside as he peered into his uncle’s orbs. “I thought…I was hoping to have time with Riley and Joy as a family. Time to get to know Joy through Riley’s eyes….what she likes to eat, what games she likes to play. Does she have a favorite story? All these things…..”
The words died off as the blond paced to the door of the bedroom and back, shaking his head at the rampaging thoughts only he could hear. The sudden surge of fears increased the agitation in the younger man before he stopped at the foot of the bed and held onto the metal rail, staring at the blanket covered shell of Riley.
“Heath, don’t second guess yourself now. You’ve done good with Joy,” commanded Matt in a velvet firm tone as he moved to his nephew’s side. “I wish you and Riley had more time but I reckon it just wasn’t meant to be. Be happy for the time you had been given with her.”
“I am Uncle Matt and I’m glad she brought Joy to us,” said the blond with a slight nod of his head before adding, “I guess it just hit me all of a sudden….I’ve only been a daddy for a couple of days and really, what the hell do I know about being one?”
Smiling and laying his arm across his nephew’s shoulder, Matt pulled the younger man against him, “You’ll learn like every other parent does….by just doing it boy. You’ve been doing it since you came here to be with Riley. Sides you got me, Rachel and Hannah to help out if ya need us.”
Heath flashed a crooked smile of relief at his uncle’s words and nodded in agreement before his smile faded and the soberness of the day’s reality set back in. Instead of a quick wedding taking place, he would be laying his fiancé to rest. Moving away from the bed, the blond gestured for his uncle to follow and lead the way from the room.
Closing the door behind him, Heath asked, “Would you tell Rachel and Hannah? I’m gonna get the plot ready.”
“Sure, I’ll be there to help you after I let Reverend Clark know also,” Informed Matt as he walked beside his nephew to the stairs. He could almost sense the relief flowing from his nephew as they descended the stairs to find the lobby free of the Barkley family. Clasping the blond on the shoulder, Matt moved around the counter towards the kitchen where he knew the ladies of their family would be.
*******************************
Blue eyes pinpointed to a focused light, color deepened from internal intensity moved again to the silver haired woman pivoting to retrace her small path in the hotel room. The afternoon sun streamed in through the gap in the curtains covering the window. The strands of silver, once a glorious blonde as her daughter’s, glistened as the sun ricocheted harmlessly off them.
Jarrod Barkley, attorney at law, waited patiently and silently as he had for the past half hour as his mother moved to work through her pent up agitations. For once the family matriarch seemed to be second guessing her path, wavering and faltering through life. She, who always took a foot forward, sure and positive on the goal set, again moved across the room in a worrisome dance.
Where had this uncertainty come from? This unseen enemy causing such an uncharacteristic response from a woman whose steady hand guided them all through life. Even after the death of his father, her partner in life, she had flinched at the wound thrust into her soul but she had never been unwavering. She had continued on, threw back her shoulders and been strong for those around her who were grieving at the loss. Even in that darkest hour of their family’s history she had been unbending, reaching out her arms and protecting those around her with her shade like a giant redwood.
It was not lost on the first born at this moment the likeness between his mother and his brother Nick stood out like a sheepherder in a cattlemen’s association meeting. He had watched his hazel eyed brother follow nearly the same path of pacing earlier in the morning before he had in his mind, decided to take the bull by the horns so to speak. The rancher had pivoted in the same manner as their mother, seemingly wearing a path in the wooden floorboards as his encaged mind worked through its invisible trail. He had paced and warred internally until he reached a decision, found their new brother in the kitchen and they were rewarded with a promise of a future.
The mother and hazel eyed child housed the same exceeding amount of energy needing to be expelled, though, over the years with maturity, his mother had been able to harness the energy into a veritable endless supply of strength. With time and years passing by, Jarrod imagined it would be the same with Nick. His internal comparison of his mother and brother brought a smile to his lips as he again watched as she retraced her steps until stopping before the lone window in the room.
“Jarrod?” said Victoria suddenly before turning towards her first born.
“Yes, mother?”
“Do you think Heath will ever think of me as Joy’s grandmother?”
The question caught him off guard for a moment and he pursed his lips in thought. Leaning back in his chair, he studied his mother as she crossed to the bed and took a seat on its edge. Her small fingers played with a loose thread on the coverlet as he considered the cause of her agitated pacing.
“I would think so, Mother,” assured the eldest son. “After all you are his father’s wife and the mother to his siblings.”
“It is sound reasoning,” murmured Victoria with a slight smile before her gray eyes found her son’s again “though I don’t feel as positive about it as you seem to be.”
Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, the first born clasped his hands together and smiled, “Mother, it will simply take time. Time for Heath to truly become comfortable with us and time to build our bonds. We just need time.”
Considering the words of her son, Victoria hesitated before shaking her head negatively and standing, her arms crossed over her chest as if a northern wind had blown through her very soul. His siblings were not the ones who dared and challenged him as he stood in the cell of the Stockton jail. They hadn’t demanded he pick up a fallen gauntlet, wage a war for riches which should have been his from birth.
His siblings weren’t the ones who off handedly discarded the difficulties he had to face in this town as a mere child that morning at the breakfast table which now seemed so long ago. Colorful had been the word she used and she had been so wrong to minimize the emotions underlying his words.
She had been so wrong upon her arrival in Strawberry when she made it sound as if he was putting his anger with their family over his daughter’s needs. For as long as she could recall she had always felt right in any path she had chosen to take. Firm in her convictions and the choices made. But now she felt only off-kilter and out of sorts. She felt a strange emotion….fear. Fear of again making a mistake and further pushing away the youngest son of her husband. She was treading lightly, looking around for a firm place to set her foot before continuing on. This dance of hesitation and insecurity was foreign to her and she felt as if she were blundering around on shaky ground.
Taking a breath and letting it out slowly, she suddenly realized how much their futures would depend on her interaction with the blond man and her stomach muscles tightened immediately.
“Time won’t help if Heath and I cannot reach some common middle ground,” countered the silver-haired matriarch softly, the words spoken into the room and left to float in the air as she gathered her thoughts. “I can see the anger inside he has for me and I’m afraid…afraid he’ll use me as a reason to hold our family at arm’s length.”
“Mother, he has already promised we would have a future with Joy,” pointed out Jarrod as he sought to erase the uncertainty from his mother’s eyes.
Staring into the light blue eyes of her first born, Victoria corrected her child’s statement, “He promised a future with you, Nick and Audra….not me, Jarrod…not me.”
"I love you Riley."
Tears filled her eyes as she released her hold on his hand, running her hand up his arm until she grasped the back of his neck. Her fingers ran through his hair before she moved his face closer, stopping before their lips met.
"Always…loved….you…Heath." gasped Riley pulling his mouth to hers and whispering before deepening the kiss, "for…ever."
Lost in the kiss and the words, he wrapped his arms around her fragile form and lifted her upward. Riley moved her head to rest it against his broad shoulder as the man hardened by the experiences from the world outside the room murmured into her ear. Closing her eyes, she smiled at his love filled words.
Heath blinked at the tears in his eyes, uncaring as they escaped and trickled onto his cheeks. Squeezing his eyes tightly closed, he held her head to his shoulder, rocking slightly as his frame shuddered with sobs as he felt her body relax into eternal sleep.
Chapter 84
Droplets of grieve trickled from the corners of his eyes as Heath sat motionless holding Riley to his chest. Laying his cheek on the side of her head, he took in a shuddering breath and slowly exhaled, hissing his breath in a staggered pattern as he fought for a semblance of control.
A soft knocking at the door broke the stillness of the room and he tenderly lowered her onto the pillows. Staring at the pale face relaxed in a pain-free eternal sleep for a moment, he rubbed his thumb gently over her cooling cheek. The repetition of the knock found him wiping the tears from his face before raising himself off the bed, verbally granting entry as he pulled the blanket upwards to cover the mother of his child.
“Heath, sorry we’re late. The wagon wheel…” stated Matt in a low voice as he peered around the door he cracked open. The words from his mouth ceasing as he caught sight of the blanket covered form after his nephew turned towards him.
“She’s gone,” informed Heath needlessly with a shake of his head as if it would wake him from a bad dream.
“I’m sorry, boy,” offered Matt closing the distance between them in three steps. Gathering his only living relative to him in a hug, the slender framed man felt his nephew’s larger body relax for only a moment before a hand patted his back and he pulled apart. Eyes aged with the years watched as his nephew moved to the window and held onto the frame with his right hand, peering outwards at a world filled with afternoon sunshine. The blond head dipped downward for a moment as if in silent prayer.
The silence of the room was broken by the softly spoken words, “Do you think Joy will understand, Uncle Matt? Do you think she’ll know her mama’s gone?”
Startled from his own thoughts by his nephew’s sudden questions, Matt glanced to the bed before continuing to Heath’s side. Studying the strong profile beside him, the hotel proprietor reached over and squeezed the nearest shoulder as he sighed, “She probably won’t understand…no….it’ll be more like she’ll sense something’s missing, Heath.”
“I gotta tell ya’ Uncle Matt I’m scared all of a sudden,” admitted the blond as he moved his hand from the window to rub the back of his neck.
“Scared? Why?”
Turning enough to look back at the bed, he cast a glance to the older man by his side. Taking a lungful of air, Heath closed his eyes for a moment before baring the fear springing up inside as he peered into his uncle’s orbs. “I thought…I was hoping to have time with Riley and Joy as a family. Time to get to know Joy through Riley’s eyes….what she likes to eat, what games she likes to play. Does she have a favorite story? All these things…..”
The words died off as the blond paced to the door of the bedroom and back, shaking his head at the rampaging thoughts only he could hear. The sudden surge of fears increased the agitation in the younger man before he stopped at the foot of the bed and held onto the metal rail, staring at the blanket covered shell of Riley.
“Heath, don’t second guess yourself now. You’ve done good with Joy,” commanded Matt in a velvet firm tone as he moved to his nephew’s side. “I wish you and Riley had more time but I reckon it just wasn’t meant to be. Be happy for the time you had been given with her.”
“I am Uncle Matt and I’m glad she brought Joy to us,” said the blond with a slight nod of his head before adding, “I guess it just hit me all of a sudden….I’ve only been a daddy for a couple of days and really, what the hell do I know about being one?”
Smiling and laying his arm across his nephew’s shoulder, Matt pulled the younger man against him, “You’ll learn like every other parent does….by just doing it boy. You’ve been doing it since you came here to be with Riley. Sides you got me, Rachel and Hannah to help out if ya need us.”
Heath flashed a crooked smile of relief at his uncle’s words and nodded in agreement before his smile faded and the soberness of the day’s reality set back in. Instead of a quick wedding taking place, he would be laying his fiancé to rest. Moving away from the bed, the blond gestured for his uncle to follow and lead the way from the room.
Closing the door behind him, Heath asked, “Would you tell Rachel and Hannah? I’m gonna get the plot ready.”
“Sure, I’ll be there to help you after I let Reverend Clark know also,” Informed Matt as he walked beside his nephew to the stairs. He could almost sense the relief flowing from his nephew as they descended the stairs to find the lobby free of the Barkley family. Clasping the blond on the shoulder, Matt moved around the counter towards the kitchen where he knew the ladies of their family would be.
*******************************
Blue eyes pinpointed to a focused light, color deepened from internal intensity moved again to the silver haired woman pivoting to retrace her small path in the hotel room. The afternoon sun streamed in through the gap in the curtains covering the window. The strands of silver, once a glorious blonde as her daughter’s, glistened as the sun ricocheted harmlessly off them.
Jarrod Barkley, attorney at law, waited patiently and silently as he had for the past half hour as his mother moved to work through her pent up agitations. For once the family matriarch seemed to be second guessing her path, wavering and faltering through life. She, who always took a foot forward, sure and positive on the goal set, again moved across the room in a worrisome dance.
Where had this uncertainty come from? This unseen enemy causing such an uncharacteristic response from a woman whose steady hand guided them all through life. Even after the death of his father, her partner in life, she had flinched at the wound thrust into her soul but she had never been unwavering. She had continued on, threw back her shoulders and been strong for those around her who were grieving at the loss. Even in that darkest hour of their family’s history she had been unbending, reaching out her arms and protecting those around her with her shade like a giant redwood.
It was not lost on the first born at this moment the likeness between his mother and his brother Nick stood out like a sheepherder in a cattlemen’s association meeting. He had watched his hazel eyed brother follow nearly the same path of pacing earlier in the morning before he had in his mind, decided to take the bull by the horns so to speak. The rancher had pivoted in the same manner as their mother, seemingly wearing a path in the wooden floorboards as his encaged mind worked through its invisible trail. He had paced and warred internally until he reached a decision, found their new brother in the kitchen and they were rewarded with a promise of a future.
The mother and hazel eyed child housed the same exceeding amount of energy needing to be expelled, though, over the years with maturity, his mother had been able to harness the energy into a veritable endless supply of strength. With time and years passing by, Jarrod imagined it would be the same with Nick. His internal comparison of his mother and brother brought a smile to his lips as he again watched as she retraced her steps until stopping before the lone window in the room.
“Jarrod?” said Victoria suddenly before turning towards her first born.
“Yes, mother?”
“Do you think Heath will ever think of me as Joy’s grandmother?”
The question caught him off guard for a moment and he pursed his lips in thought. Leaning back in his chair, he studied his mother as she crossed to the bed and took a seat on its edge. Her small fingers played with a loose thread on the coverlet as he considered the cause of her agitated pacing.
“I would think so, Mother,” assured the eldest son. “After all you are his father’s wife and the mother to his siblings.”
“It is sound reasoning,” murmured Victoria with a slight smile before her gray eyes found her son’s again “though I don’t feel as positive about it as you seem to be.”
Leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, the first born clasped his hands together and smiled, “Mother, it will simply take time. Time for Heath to truly become comfortable with us and time to build our bonds. We just need time.”
Considering the words of her son, Victoria hesitated before shaking her head negatively and standing, her arms crossed over her chest as if a northern wind had blown through her very soul. His siblings were not the ones who dared and challenged him as he stood in the cell of the Stockton jail. They hadn’t demanded he pick up a fallen gauntlet, wage a war for riches which should have been his from birth.
His siblings weren’t the ones who off handedly discarded the difficulties he had to face in this town as a mere child that morning at the breakfast table which now seemed so long ago. Colorful had been the word she used and she had been so wrong to minimize the emotions underlying his words.
She had been so wrong upon her arrival in Strawberry when she made it sound as if he was putting his anger with their family over his daughter’s needs. For as long as she could recall she had always felt right in any path she had chosen to take. Firm in her convictions and the choices made. But now she felt only off-kilter and out of sorts. She felt a strange emotion….fear. Fear of again making a mistake and further pushing away the youngest son of her husband. She was treading lightly, looking around for a firm place to set her foot before continuing on. This dance of hesitation and insecurity was foreign to her and she felt as if she were blundering around on shaky ground.
Taking a breath and letting it out slowly, she suddenly realized how much their futures would depend on her interaction with the blond man and her stomach muscles tightened immediately.
“Time won’t help if Heath and I cannot reach some common middle ground,” countered the silver-haired matriarch softly, the words spoken into the room and left to float in the air as she gathered her thoughts. “I can see the anger inside he has for me and I’m afraid…afraid he’ll use me as a reason to hold our family at arm’s length.”
“Mother, he has already promised we would have a future with Joy,” pointed out Jarrod as he sought to erase the uncertainty from his mother’s eyes.
Staring into the light blue eyes of her first born, Victoria corrected her child’s statement, “He promised a future with you, Nick and Audra….not me, Jarrod…not me.”
